Gloom and Doom — The Loss of Womanhood

According to most fashion magazines, makeup brands and women-only talk shows; the biggest conundrum a 21st century woman should face is how to battle ageing. The little monster lurking under your skin, that resurfaces to the top in all its glory as soon as you hit your prime.

But pray do tell, what IS one’s prime?

We have placed an imaginary biological clock upon our bodies, and seem to seek every treatment or solution out there to fix our skin, look our absolute damned best and be able to show off the same features we once didn’t care much for, when we were in our early teens.

Teenage girls are worried about going through their ‘ugly phase’ (which doesn’t exist in my opinion, and should just be referred to as ‘growing’). Women in their 20s are worried that these are the best years of their lives and that they’ll never look better. Women in their 30s are worried about their sagging breasts and child-bearing hips. Women in their 40s are at their wits end, at the first sight of the dreaded silvery strand. Women in their 50s have lost hope, and are scrambling to freeze their skin and bodies by injecting all kind of junk into it. And it goes on and on.

Although, insecurities are always to be validated, one must keep in mind that not every woman experiences the world the same way, or not every woman possesses the same amount of strength as the next one. No one is identical, but our bodies work the same way. No matter which tip of the continent one may seem to live in.

Patriarchal institutions have drilled into our skulls that we must look a certain way, or act a certain way to be perceived as feminine enough. But when carbon-copy barbies start venturing into the world, each one in the race to achieve the same look — plump lips, big buttocks, anorexic figures and bleached roots; then something definitely is the problem here. We don’t see men being pressured to get a nose-job, or you’ll rarely (you WILL see, but does not apply to a good percentage) see a man wringing his hair because the fear of ageing has gripped him by the throat.

This is because the idea that men have to follow a structured, uniform set of instructions to fight ageing; rather than just accept their bodies and their growth the way it is — doesn’t exist. Men are allowed to come in all shapes and sizes, grow white hair, lose a few teeth, go blind in one eye and maybe even start growing a horn out of their heads; and no one will blink an eye!

Watch a woman barely care or get caught up in the rat race of beauty and ageing; and she will find an entire village gathered up at her doorstep, with pitchforks in tow.

Does our womanhood die, as we lose certain aspects of our physical being?

I am of the opinion, it DOES NOT. In fact, I personally feel that the older I grow, the more womanly, the more prettier I look. I hate to think that there was a point at which I detested myself, because of what the fashion magazines had defined as femininity. The few silvery strands on my head, make me feel absolutely powerful. The tiger stripes on my kneecaps, feel amazing, as they show me how far I’ve come and how far I’ve grown! And there are days when I catch myself daydreaming as a 50 year old, with a beautiful gray head and elegantly wrinkled fingers, holding a cup of tea and looking as poised and as happy as one can be.

It’s time we took back our womanhood from the clutches of patriarchy; and defined beauty and ageing for ourselves.