Folded Corners
There’s something about growing up in a predominantly Muslim, brown household, where superstitions are based around religious artefacts, old wives' tales and sometimes there’s no rationale to it besides “it just is".
Take the prayer mat for example; a folded corner means inviting the Devil to prostrate upon it, which in retrospect is not a bad thing after all, since that could possibly keep him busy from his day job, leading everyone else astray. You’d could think of 99 worst possible things the Devil could possibly do on the jaaye-namaaz (prayer-mat) but no, he decides to pray instead. The world could be a whole lot better if all the God-fearing folks decided to form an alliance against the Devil and folded the corner of their prayer mats in protest.
Then, there is the absolutely mind-boggling belief that walking over, jumping over, performing cartwheels or just using an infant as an obstacle to get across, will stunt his/her growth. Too often I’ve been the victim of desi aunties shrieking from across the room, whenever I’ve stepped over, across their drooling babies to get to the other side of the room. “ HAYE ALLAH AB YE BARA KAISAY HOGA?!!” (OH MY GOD HOW WILL HE GROW NOW?!!)
The funny thing is, you can counteract this curse by going over the baby the same way you came back. Basically a repetition of the earlier performance, with the baby staring at your towering figure while stupidly sucking on a pacifier, and the panicked mother glaring at you to see if the curse was reversed effectively. It feels alot like Benjamin Buttoning, so that the baby doesn’t have to do it in the future instead.
One of these old-wives tales that has something to do with a seemingly innocent household object and the reason for 90% of the divorces in the subcontinent, has to be the humble scissors. Keep playing around with it, and you might just start a war of epic proportions within the family. All that yelling and screaming and your parents threatening each other with divorce? Who (or what, in this case) do you think is to blame for that? The scissors you dummy! I am not sure in what universe someone decided to connect the two, but to me it sounds pretty reasonable to blame all your generational trauma on a two-forked instrument. Or maybe it’s more metaphorical than that, something to do with the sharpness of it’s edges and the ability to cut things into two, much like your family (Sorry, was that too much?)
Nevertheless, the most classic superstition that we seem to share with our Western counterparts had to be that of the kaali billi (black cat). This has less to do with the animal itself and more to do with it’s colour. Infact, any creature on this God’s green earth that is many shades darker than the normal (read — white) spells out bad luck or imminent death. The poor thing may be rubbing against your leg for some affection, but in the eyes of any sane brown person who has grown up believing such tall tales; their grave will keep flashing in front of their eyes. Cross a black cat and bam! you are now impotent, or can’t get married, or will likely die in a tragic accident. Whichever one you prefer really, the black cat is an enigma in the eyes of many.
Although times may have changed, science has advanced and our parents seem to be catching up on whatsapp conspiracy theories instead; there is nothing like some old-timey superstition to get away with virtually anything possible. So if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some corners to fold and a engage in a little tête-à-tête with Devil himself.
